Movies tell us to reignite the romance. Books tell us to speak our partner’s love language. Tabloids tell us to get to know ourselves better. But the one main ingredient to a successful love relationship isn’t about us at all.
How many times has our personal attempt at love failed to keep us from reacting, getting angry and placing blame? How many times has our version of love failed to step up and stop a heated argument with kind words? How many times have we turned cold, unresponsive or even resentful in our relationship?
Even with every tip and tactic memorized, this is the version of love that we have (on our own) to give another. As I heard one pastor say, it’s like saltwater.
What is Love?
The first time I heard the saltwater comment I didn’t like it. The concept seemed discouraging, as if perfect love coming from me was an impossible feat. It only seemed that way, of course, until I saw it in action–time and time again. I saw it in action when I couldn’t control my tongue. I saw it in action when I wanted to give up over a small disagreement. The more I struggled with this concept, the more I realized it was completely true.
The one secret to a love relationship is the unconditional love–agape love–that comes to us from God. Only He can give us the fresh water we need to survive, and that fresh water pours through us to others. Is it a miracle? Yes.
When we are open to God’s love, and when we call on His help in our weakness, the secret to a real love relationship begins. It’s a love we can’t pull from ourselves with all our flaws, but it’s a pure love that comes from the source. As the Bible says, “Love is from God” (1 John 4:7).
Pray for More Love
It doesn’t matter where we are in our relationships right now. We can pray about it. We can pray for our partners and for ourselves. We can ask God to show Himself to us, and in the middle of disagreements, we can ask God to infuse us with a spirit of love. Best of all, it’s in the Bible that a cord of three strands is not easily broken…
“An enemy might defeat one person, but two people together can defend themselves; a rope that is woven of three strings is hard to break ” (Ecclesiastes 4:11-12).
We can choose God’s love at any moment–even right now. And if God is for us, who can be against us?
Wonderful spot 🙂
Hi Jen,
I am married to David’s friend Mark. I hope to meet you very soon. This post and today’s brought tears. This came at the exact right time in my life. I have been praying so hard for a miracle. It gives me the faith to continue in prayer and hope and not to give up even when I feel like things won’t get better. You really made my day and plan on checking your posts every day! God Bless you two! I mean 3!!!
Tracy =)
hi Jennifer im dating Davids cousin Justin , we met at your wedding,and i absolutly love what you wrote. No matter how far you stray from God , He is always there for you. I only hope that He can help me have the kind of love you and your husband share.Thank you for your beautiful words.
Thank you so much Sandie, Tracy and Christina!
I come back to these reminders often… marriage is hard work. It’s impossible to do it alone. It takes much prayer and starting over again and again and again. Never give up, even when all that tempts your mind is to give up. I’m right there with you.
With God involved, you will win.
After 33 years of marriage I can say with authority that being plugged into Him – the living water fountain – is the ONLY way to really love another the way we were designed to. I’ve found the secret for me has been focusing on falling in love with God completely…Father/Son/ and Holy Spirit. As my relationship has increased and deepened with Him/Them, so has my agape love for the ones He’s given me to love. Apart from “Me” you can do nothing. Thoughtful post Jennifer.
Thank you for sharing your experience and great faith Colleen. It’s inspiring to hear how God works in your marriage… what a testimony for all of us! I hope to hear more from you.
I did enjoy the comments and look forward to more encouraging words as I begin a new chapter in my 73rd year. I will need all the help, we have asked God to be our guide as we begin this journey. Verna